The Language of Influence
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We all influence others. In fact, it is impossible NOT to influence. Every word you say to another person has a certain degree of impact.
In these series you will be given tips every month to make language working for you at all times. This month Language for Influence Tip: SAY IT THE WAY YOU WANT IT! |
Why?
I will give a few examples from my own misuse of this rule and let’s see if you can recognize yourself in them:
Once I said to one of my employees, “Do not forget to bring me that document, it is really important.” - what did he do? He forgot!
When standing at a pedestrian crossing with my little brother I told him, “Don’t cross the road now!” - What did he do? He almost jumped right into the stream of traffic!
When using the London Underground I was reading a sign by the escalator saying, “Do not press this button” - ….. No, I didn’t press it, however, I had to fight myself not to do it!
If you tell somebody not to do something, their tendency will be to do just the opposite. This is because,
Our Unconscious Mind does not process negatives.
So if you say, “Please do not tell anyone what I just told you”, our unconscious mind hears the opposite - “Please tell anyone….”
The same principle applies when talking to ourselves, whether it is through the use of verbal language or through the thinking process.
“I don’t want to be fat, I don’t want to worry anymore, I don’t want to be stressed, I don’t want to get upset…” -
These are all examples of how we use negative language with ourselves - often with not so great results.
The English language loves the use of negative language.
Next month we will talk about some useful language patterns for influence.
Until then…
You may want to think about when and how often you use negative language and how to replace it by using positive statements.
Remember,
Always say it the way you want it!
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